Hi, I’m Janet and I’m adopted. I was born in 1977. My mother was 16 years old. I was separated from her and taken to the nursery right away, she never held me. I never got a chance to experience the safety of her arms, her comfort, her voice, her warmth or her smell. I was placed for adoption and didn’t see her again for 45 years.

I was adopted into a loving home with my parents and older adopted brother. Despite being given everything I needed growing up, I still struggled with being adopted. It rocked my sense of identity and self. Questions of where I came from or who I looked like echoed in my mind. Who was I? What was I? Why was I here?

When I was in my 40s I started to feel the need to know more. Through DNA I was finally reunited with my first mother. I met her on a Sunday in March 2023. She hugged me tightly and that hug was everything I ever imagined it would be. It was warm and safe and made me feel like I was finally home again. I also met two of my siblings that day, the similarities we shared were undeniable. The four of us talked for hours. I deeply grieve the loss of what could have been if I hadn’t had to wait until I was 45 to finally be with my mother again.

As an adoptee I do not have the right to my original birth certificate or medical history. I do not know both of my parents, all of my siblings or grandparents. I had to use my own resources, time and money to find my mother.

It’s not always possible for children to be raised by their families of origin and sometimes safe external care is needed. I hope for a future for all adoptees that includes knowing their kin, origins, race, medical history and without identifying information being hidden, changed or locked away. All of us need to know our roots in order to grow. Finding my first mother has grounded me more than I ever imagined it would.