Ken DeStefano is an attorney living in New York with his wife and two adult children. He is a domestic adoptee that was born in the late 1960’s. He was raised in a caring and loving home by his mother and father, and was raised with two older siblings that were biological to his parents and a younger brother who was also adopted.  As an adoptee, he has had a largely happy life, but always wondered about the unknown.  That ember sparked when he looked into the faces of his newborn children and experienced mirroring for the first time.

Ken’s curiosity about the way that adoption shaped his life led to a search for his own birth mother and a reunification with her in 2017.  He wrote his debut novel, “I WIll See You Again…Hearts Will Sing,” to tell the story of two people whose past, present, and future lives are inexplicably linked. Although the novel is fictional, it draws from his real feelings, insecurities, and challenges as an adoptee.  In 2024, DeStefano’s novel was selected by the Tucson Festival of Books for recognition as an “Indie Author,” recognized as a Winner of the International Impact Book Award, Finalist by both of the American Fiction Awards, and Page Turner Book Awards.

Ken took an unusual (for him) path in his decision to seek his birth mother.  Rather than his typical approach of listening to others and being guided by his social circle and momentum, he made a conscious decision to deliberately choose every step of his journey.  He often felt the avalanche of expectations, but pushed back, knowing these decisions would permanently impact his life–for better or worse.

Ken’s reunion went well, and he continues to have a strong, mutual relationship with his birth mother. His worst fears of abandonment and rejection were shown to be just that–fears. More importantly, he understood that, however the reunion would go, he chose reunion, changing him from the passive adoptee whose trauma had been imposed on him to the active child/sibling/father/husband who could take control of his own life.

“I WIll See You Again…Hearts Will Sing,” can be found on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Will-See-You-Again-Hearts/dp/B0C63YSMWH, and he has been fortunate to be a guest on several podcasts, such as Adoption:  The Making of Me, Who Am I Really, Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland, Fireside Adoptees, Pulled by the Root, Thriving Adoptees and Mind Your Own Karma.