+ Racism. The shame I carried for most of my years was the undeserving shame others bestowed upon me, intentional or not. Racism denied me my identity, my family and my sense of self worth. Born in 1971 to a 19 year old affluent white mother and 20 year old black father in Kentucky was the beginning of a life that digested the very painful realities of other peoples racist ideologies.  I was adopted not too long after my birth. My new parents were white conservative Christians from Birmingham, AL with 3 children of their own. Not long after my adoption, my parents adopted 3 more biracial children, making us a family of 7. As a little girl, I spent many days and nights fantasizing about my birth mother. These fantasies became an escape from the chaos going on around me. At the young age of  5, myself along with several other TRA’s in my community, integrated our local pool, unknowingly. The loud whispers, stares and uncomfortable feelings became a normal part of my child hood. By the time I was 11, I began to understand that the combination of my white and black skin was a problem – for others. “Zebra, “mixed connection”, “half breed”, “droplet” are just a few of the names I was called by my classmates. I was ashamed to be biracial and I wanted to be anything but mixed. At 15, my adoptive mother divorced her husband and moved to another state, leaving us 4 adoptees with him.  A year later I became pregnant and at 18 my adoptive father dropped me and my baby off at a homeless shelter stating, “you will not raise your family in my home.” I was greeted at the  shelter by my older adoptive sister who interned there while she was completing her MSSW.. The shame I carried was larger than life at this time and all I could do was survive. My 2 daughters and I spent the next 7 years in low income housing, navigating the welfare system while I earned my GED, graduated from the local community college and then eventually moved into married student housing after I was accepted into the University of TN.