Tia Zoldan

Mark Twain quoted- “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

Being adopted, your life is a mystery, it’s an endless battle of why and how and what really happened. Always questioning, how did I get here and why?  Why did I end up with this family that adopted me and my life could have been so different if someone else adopted me. Or… it could have been awful if I wasn’t adopted.

I was adopted at birth and can’t remember when my parents told me, I was too young, but I would do anything to have that moment played back as an adult now. It makes me laugh and cry, imagining trying to tell a toddler that some other lady gave birth to you and decided to give you away. 

 I should have asked them how they told me before they passed away. I guess I still have a lot of questions but I am not sure they could have answered them. 

My dad always seemed sad when I would ask if they had any information on my birth mother, which made me hesitant about asking for information as I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like he wasn’t enough. He was the best. I was so lucky and so loved and very well taken care of. 

I grew up in Sherman Oaks. My younger brother was adopted as well. As little kids, my parents sent us to a private jewish day school. I didn’t look jewish and people always pointed that out to me, and I looked nothing like my parents. I know that always made my mom uncomfortable.  I always felt different. It was like a missing piece and I wanted to connect biologically with someone. I think that is why I couldn’t wait to be a mom.  I yearned for it.  When my first daughter was born I had to remind myself that she was biologically mine because I trained myself my whole life that I was not related to anyone. When I see myself in my daughters I sometimes have to pinch myself. I hit the jackpot as I have 4 daughters now (2 biological and 2 step.) All my girls know how I feel about being their mom, I know they feel so loved as my step daughter even calls me mommy. I get to raise 4 girls and that is the biggest gift in my life.