I was born in Utah in 1985 and adopted as an infant at just 3 days old. It was a closed adoption
and I remember being told that my birth mother was very young, but that is all I knew. I grew up
in a small family, with one older adopted brother. I often wondered about my birth family. They
crossed my mind a lot. I knew the records were sealed and I felt it would be impossible to ever
find them. I would often talk about my adoption to my friends and even strangers. I had a deep
desire to find them but I didn’t want to hurt my adoptive parents. I felt a sense of loyalty to them
but as I got older, I knew I needed to find my family of origin
In my late 20s, I decided to submit my DNA test to Ancestry. I never knew my ethnic background
and was excited to finalv leam were came from. I was connected to distant cousins and
tried to send messages to them to see if they knew anything about who my birth parents might
be, but no luck. However, four years later, I received a notification that changed my life. My
biological father submitted his DNA and he had written me a message introducing himself the
day we connected. I’ll never forget the feeling as I sat reading the message, laughing and
crying, realizing that all the questions I’ve had my entire life would finally be answered. I met
both of my biological parents within a few weeks of my DNA discovery. It was all very fast and
overwhelming but I was glad to finally meet them a few days before my 33rd birthday. I found
out I have 8 half siblings. It was a shock, but in a good way. I’ve spent the last 7 years getting to
know my birth family. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions but a beautiful reunion overall.
I’m learning to live with the grief that comes with adoption, which I realize will be a lifelong
healing journey. It’s lonely to grow up feeling like you don’t belong and when you finally find
where you come from, you still feel like an outsider because so much time was lost. I’m glad I
have an amazing adoptee community to lean on. We are not alone.
I love helping people find their biological family and have a passion for it. I think we all have a
right to know where we come from.
